we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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