I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You are the jesus of drinking
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
