Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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