Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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