do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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