this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
