I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
