I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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