smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
