i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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