you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
