My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize