There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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