some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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