She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
