It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
