just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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