I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Less talking, more tequila
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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