I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
