Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
