doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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