The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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