I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
