You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
