The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
