I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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