margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize