my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had to cum in my sink.
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