you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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