I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
