but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
