put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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