you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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