Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
