You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
