I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
