i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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