Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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