If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
