you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
