Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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