from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
