I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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