I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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