tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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