Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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