So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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