if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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