So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
