the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
