Operation Purity has been aborted
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
