I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
