i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
