hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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