why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
