real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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