he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
