Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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